When gardeners attack.

Higher gas prices and higher food prices have more suburban farmers growing their own vegetables.  A wonderful thing.  But there is a dark side too.  Joyce Wadler hit the top of the New York Times most-emailed list this week with a story about gardeners who have turned murderous.  Gentle, peace-loving soil-huggers who have grown so fed up with woodchucks, hedgehogs, porcupines, and raccoons that they have taken up guns and in one case, a sledgehammer.  Porcupines don't move very fast.

Joyce's piece should serve as a warning to anyone tempted to grow their own.  I can testify as a harvester of bitten strawberries and nibbled carrots, growing the crop is easy, it's keeping it that's hard.

And while civilization may have endangered some species, others have been quietly cheering us on.  Especially the deer and the raccons.  And the crows -- my God, the crows.  Early in the morning I see them strutting across the Interstate like they owned it.  I used to slow down; now I speed up and take aim.

I know the animals are only following instinct --except for the crows, they have an agenda -- but then, gardeners have instincts too.  

Oh, I go to movies.  I'dl like to believe that a rat can be a gourmet chef, or that, if you sing just the right song, the animal kingdom will tidy up your apartment for you.

But as food prices climb, you watch -- gardeners with guns will become the new war heroes.

And if PETA wants to nip this is the bud, it had better either put the word out to the animals,or come up with effective alternatives.

The article DOES quote an expert who suggests that a radio tuned to an all- night talk show will do an effective job of scaring raccoons away from corn.  But come on!   I think the raccoons would prefer the sledge hammer, don't you?.
Now this.